So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
