If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
