I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
