You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
