Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
