I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
