he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
