We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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