I want to make a zoo with you.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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