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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma

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• (716): View more from New York

  Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.

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• (585): View more from New York

  I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.

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• (434): View more from Virginia

  I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.

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• (914): View more from New York

  DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.

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• (334): View more from Alabama

  I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.

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