He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
