got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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