Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
