either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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