Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
