dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
