it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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