PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
