Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Blood and glitter go together right?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Randomize