I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
