I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
