Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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