We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
she pinky promised me she was 18
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
