I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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