It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize