can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
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