My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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