I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
