I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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