For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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