Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
id be glad to
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
