im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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