And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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