Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
