i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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