What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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