me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
