He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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