you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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