but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
my poor anus
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