even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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