Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
