I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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