I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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