margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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