OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
