Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
