So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
