You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
