This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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