He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Dear god my vagina.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize