He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
