the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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