I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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