Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
no you cant smoke seaweed
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
