I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
