I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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