Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
